Parents-Children Bond

The parent-child bond is the cornerstone of the family institution and the foundation of civilisation. Islam encourages everybody to foster peaceful bonds between parents and their children. To integrate the responsibilities and rights of both kids and parents is a component of this relationship's requirement. Although parents must provide their children the opportunity to grow their distinct identities and support them in all of their reasonable demands, children have a responsibility to do the same.

“For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honour your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them ˹even˺ ‘ugh,’ nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully [17: 23]”.

Status of Parents in Islam

Allah commands us to respect and love our parents by respecting them, honoring their opinions, and dealing them with love and gentleness.

Allah says in Quran:

"Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents," [Quran, 4:36].

Another beautiful verse of Holy Quran also states the following:

“No mother should be harmed through her child, and no father through his child [2: 233]”.

Allah has further stated in Surah Al-Luqman, verse 14:

“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination [31:14] ”.

All of the above verses state that Islam has placed great importance on the rights of parents. Allah and His messenger (P.B.U.H) have encouraged many times to be kind with parents even if they are wrong.

Disobedience with parents is a major sin

Quranic verses and hadith demonstrates their importance in the Islamic order of priority towards parents' obedience. Unjustly disobeying one's parents ('uquq) is regarded as one of the primary sins, and doing so puts one's connection with Allah in trouble.

While mentioning major sins, Prophet Mohammad (P.B.U.H) said:

“They are associating idols with Allah, disobedience to parents, killing a person, and false testimony [Sahih Bukhari, 5632]”.

Prophet Mohammad (P.B.U.H) has further stated:

“The pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of the parents, and the displeasure of the Lord is in the displeasure of the parents [Al-Tirmidhi, 1899]”

Where we can refuse our parents’ orders?

If parents ask us to give up on our faith and religion “Islam”, only then we have the right to refuse their command but even then we have no right to abuse them or to talk impolitely with them. We need to inform them politely that we are not going to leave “Islam” no matter what. When our parents give us instructions to commit a sin, it is never acceptable to follow them.

Status of Mother

It is unquestionable that a mother in a Muslim family plays a devoted, sacrifice-filled role. From enduring the suffering and suffering of motherhood and childbirth to gladly carrying out all daily duties, such as cleaning and making meals. Allah states in Quran:

“And we have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship...” [Quran 31:14]

A man came to the Prophet (PBUH) asking,

‘Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said, your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said, then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said, then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet replied, then your father.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

The above verse shows the importance of mother’s rights and it is very much clear that why mother deserves more rights and care. Since, mother keeps children in their womb for nine months that is why mother is three times over the father.

Dealing them with love and care

Even if parents are sinners or disbelievers, still children are advised in Islam to deal them with care. However, children should also guide their parents to accept Islam.

Asma bint Abi Bakr (ra) said,

"My mother came to visit me when she was still a polytheist and she was living amongst Quraish. She was desirous, meaning in need, so I asked the Prophet (pbuh) and said: "O Prophet of Allah my mother came to me and she is a polytheist and she needs help. Should I keep a good relationship with her?"

He (pbuh) said "Yes maintain a good relationship with her." [Muslim 1003]

Honoring one's parents, whether or not they are Muslims, is among one's personal commitments as a responsible person. Therefore, it is crucial for Muslims to serve their parents with respect as long as they do not pressure their muslim children to commit Shirk.